I deleted all the old posts and am starting over.
The S13 is killing me, it's been a long road and I'm losing a lot of hope on it
I've been trying to stay focused, but I'm afraid to sacrifice my social life for it.
One of the biggest things pushing me is her. She hasn't seemed excited about it in
a while, but it used to be a daily push to get it done so we could ride around aimlessly.
Now I feel like there's just no hope in it anymore. It's hard to want to get back into
something you gave everything to, just to have it stab you in the back. fuck you, 180.
My music taste has been changing lately, too much Mayday and I See Stars, I feel
it's been keeping me down. It's hard to not want to listen to it though, as it helped me through
so much and brings back such good memories.
Speaking of life and hard times, I'm losing it, but you know that, as I'm talking to myself.
I need some sort of sign that this is real. I feel like...this is just because I'm there, not because
It's what is MEANT to be. Which is troubling. Those three words mean a lot to me, because I
haven't actually meant it in a long long time. I know this is really going to hurt. I know it's
coming soon because my patience level is non-existent. I just hope I get the 180 done long
before you crush me, because I know when it happens I'll give up on everything. I have no doubt in my mind...I will literally die. And not figuratively. I will die.
Get your fucking head straight, stupid. ^ remember this? remember how happy you were? suck it up and go back to that day. Everything was so right.
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