The Summer's Almost Over, We're Running Out Of Time

It's been three weeks since you said you wanted this..why am i still waiting?

you've no doubt changed your mind. there's no reason for this.

either i'm being played or you're happy where we are

if you wanted to be with me you would. right?

The Streets Are In Distress

I was so spoiled this weekend. I got to see her two nights in a row. I love the way she does such little things that make me feel so loved, and so happy.

the only downside is i feel hollow and alone at this point...i get used to her shadow, her voice, her eyes. It's like part of me is missing when she's gone. It's pretty bad haha

She's got some things going on with herself that i WISH i could fix, but i know there's nothing i can do but stand by her and keep her mind off it while she deals with it. I've to be supportive for her, even though seeing her distraught over it absolutely kills me.

Blew my turbo this weekend. epic. new joint should be here soon.

i'm so very on top of the world right now, i can't even begin to describe it. i'm so very in love and i don't want anything to change but the frequency in which i spend time with this girl. she keeps me sane, she keeps me balanced.

They Say that Love is Forever

I just read the most devastating thing I've ever read and I'm not even sure what the fuck it means.

if you're going to break my heart, please do it now, and just get it over with...

I'm terrified to see what happens tonight.

baby, take your time

so much is happening lately i can't control.

there's no hope of the s13 being ready for H20. i'm devastated. Looks like i'll be driving the Mitsubishi down. Hope all goes well.


I stayed over her house monday night and it was amazing. we went out for a quick drive, laughed a lot, i helped her with the animals best i could, i've no experience in the matter. you know what happened later and know it was the most amazing thing ever. i can't believe it finally happened. god damnit i'm in love.

i've been so grumpy lately, so miserable. unless im with her

i hope this stops. she keeps me smiling, that's all i have to be happy. and i'm so incredibly happy when im with her it's insane.

a reason for broken wings

so, Guido and Perry helped me fix the Mitsubishi last night.

i'm the happiest I've been automotive-ly in a long while. the best thing to come out of this was the desperation that caused me to slam a lot of the S13 together the end of august. I've only got a few more things to do, though one of which is wiring which honestly scares the bejesus out of me. I hate electrical shit. It''s terrifying. Ah well.

So I got a bit drunk the other day, and confessed everything i feel for this girl. everything went better than expected. i feel good getting it out there, and she said some things that truly give me hope.

my life is like a terrible movie. it's stuck on repeat.

i cannot wait for H20i, or the s13 to be done, or even to see her tonight.

on top of the world.

there's a reason we have second thoughts

so. a lot has happened since i last talked to myself.

the mitsubishi has caught on fire. it's sitting at the mobil waiting to be fixed. two weeks without a car. killing me.

the lexus is still broken as all hell, but i have been saving up in an effort to bring it back on the road. i actually miss that toilet.

i have been putting over time into the nissan. got almost all of the body work done. just down to some final sanding and priming. i almost can't even contain myself.

i've been slipping more and more away from the happy, no fucks given attitude i usually have to some sort of soft mushy emotional person. i think the reason is i've hit a stalemate in my life. i'm getting older and still acting like a teenager. I want so desperately to grow up, find love and be an adult.

speaking of love. i found it, she hasn't. i wonder when she's going to find someone else? or decide this sin't working for her anymore? i feel like it'll be soon. who the hell knows.

i just know, the minute she's gone is the same minute i stop breathing.

so won't you kill me?

I've been feeling stressed lately over the S13. Not good, I just want it done, but it's been so hot out lately
I can't bring myself into the garage to work on it. A few nights this week I will.

She's been absolutely wonderful lately. We hung out friday night, and though I really wanted her to stay over she couldn't. We held hands in public, which makes me feel like a little kid, and I love the way she lets me steal kisses at red lights. It's the cutest thing ever. No I take that back, when I jokingly punch her in the face and she kisses my hand, THAT is the cutest thing ever and it melts my black ice-heart. I really want this girl.
She makes me feel alive. She's adorable. she's smart, she's funny, she's everything I need. Unless she tells me she'll "destroy my life" which has me all confused and worried. the fuck does that mean?

time will tell I guess